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NAVIGATING the PANDEMIC journey TOGETHER

Returning to the US: Tips for Re-Entry & Recombobulation

7/12/2018

13 Comments

 
Returning to your home country after a long absence is rarely easy. Occasionally you glide seamlessly back into place, but more often you hit the ground in a series of bumps and skids, small moments of culture shock and disorientation that leave you breathless and wondering how much you really know about your nation or yourself. Take for example my recent shocker in New York City.
 
It happened, of course, in a dive bar.
​


​Rich and I ducked into Johnny’s one sweltering day around noon, near the end of a long walk to meet friends for lunch in the East Village. We’d visited Johnny’s once before, and at the moment all we wanted was a cool place to sit for a few minutes to recombobulate. I ordered a Coke and Rich asked for iced tap water. The woman behind the bar gave us a long, slow, “you miserable cheapskates” look. “Yeah, OK,” she snarled and stomped away. So far so good; this was the classic New York attitude I remembered from visits in the eighties. I wondered idly whether they taught them this stuff, or just hired people with natural aptitude.
 
She delivered our drinks in grim silence and disappeared to the other end of the bar. Five minutes later she was back and — brace yourself, here it comes — she said, “I am so sorry. I was terrible to you two. You didn’t deserve that. Someone yelled at me earlier and I took it out on you. I want to apologize.”
 
I almost fell off my barstool. When was the last time a bartender apologized for too much attitude — in NYC or anywhere? We proceeded to have a lovely conversation and were soon on a first-name basis. When Amy learned we’d arranged to meet a friend there the next evening, she said, “The first round’s on me.”
 
“Did that just happen?” I asked Rich the moment we left the bar.
 
“Obviously this must be a different New York than the one we remember.”

And that’s my point. Returning to our home country, we tend to see every encounter and variation in the landscape as a commentary on ourselves and the changes we’ve missed by being away. 
​
Zozosuit / flash in the pan or trending now? / enjoylivingabroad.com
Flash in the pan or America's next must-have accessory? The Zozosuit measures your body's dimensions, and an app sends the data to online retailers so they can determine your size.

​As I have often observed, America is something you have to stay in practice for, and I don’t want to lose my touch. That’s why Rich and I keep a cottage in a small town north of San Francisco. We escape the crushing heat of Seville’s summers, spend time with family and friends, take care of any financial affairs in need of attention, and make the rounds of doctors and dentists. More importantly, we reconnect with our native culture.
 
Arriving back after many months overseas, we feel a bit like strangers in a strange land. Jokes and cultural references go completely over our heads. For instance, are we the last people in America to know that rappers Cardi B and Offset named their baby Kulture Kiari Cephus (the poor kid)? Does everyone but us know what “gochujang is the new sriracha” means? Will we all soon own online size-measuring shopping suits? It always takes us a while to catch up with what’s trending. But to recombobulate emotionally, Rich and I rely on three simple rituals.  

#1. Walk the neighborhood.
 
As soon as we arrive in San Anselmo, we take a long stroll around the neighborhood to see what stores have opened and closed, make sure our favorite coffee house is still there, and say hi to the statues of Yoda and Indiana Jones donated (along with an entire park) by our town’s most famous resident, filmmaker George Lucas. 

Rich McCann enjoying burrito / re-entry & recombobulation / Karen McCann / enjoylivingabroad.com"Mmmmmmmmm!!!!" says Rich.

#2. Indulge in a favorite meal.
 
Seville has enjoyed a foodie revolution in recent years, but it still doesn’t have a decent taqueria, so we always make a beeline to our favorite Mexican eatery. Their hearty burritos have become our definition of heaven and the true taste of America.
 
#3. Explore someplace new nearby.
 
One of the joys of travel is the way it encourages an open mind and sense of adventure — not only on the road, but when we’re back in familiar territory. Every time I return to my home state, I discover something wonderfully quirky: goofy roadside attractions, the former egg capital of the world, a haunted motel.  According to online accounts (obviously a totally reliable source) California is positively brimming with ghosts, yet incredibly, I’ve never had a single sighting. But there’s always hope. Which brings me to our upcoming road trip.


Picture
Hotel La Rose in Santa Rosa, CA is famous for ghosts, including the little boy in the elevator and the woman who walks through doors. Photo: bartedson/flickr

​Our whistle-stop tour of Northern California’s dive bars and diners
 
Being train buffs, Rich and I have decided to use Northern California’s new railway as a hop-on-hop-off vehicle to check out various diners in towns along the route, ending our journey in Santa Rosa, exploring the city's dive bars. You can imagine my delight when I discovered that the most convenient place to stay overnight, an old hotel directly across from Santa Rosa’s railway station, is rated #6 on CA’s Most Haunted Hotels list. Yes, of course we’ve booked a room there. Will we see the ghost child who (allegedly) rides up and down in the hotel’s elevator around midnight? Tune in next week to find out.

​And by the way, yes! It’s great to be back.


Do you have any tips or tricks for recombobulating after a long trip? Let me know in the comments below!
WHAT IS A DIVE BAR?
FINDING GREAT DINERS
ROADSIDE ATTRACTIONS
13 Comments
Chris Fooshee link
7/12/2018 08:43:22 pm

Oh yes indeed, every time we come back we have to reset our expectations - both good and bad. The trick is to not let rule you, but to let it guide you. “Travel and change of place impart new vigor to the mind.” – Seneca [4 BC, Córdoba, Spain - 65 AD, Rome, Italy]

Reply
Karen McCann
7/13/2018 12:30:45 am

Knowing how much you travel, Chris, I am sure you appreciate the trickiness of transitions. Love the Seneca quote; now when I feel frazzled by travel I'll try to think of it as gaining "new vigor to the mind."

Reply
Julie
7/12/2018 08:44:01 pm

https://youtu.be/gzIorfmaMNw

Just kidding!

Reply
Karen McCann
7/13/2018 12:28:31 am

A very funny video indeed, Julie; I had no idea you did stand-up comedy! And so on target; that's sort of how I was feeling during the first part of The Incident — like, hey, this is New York. Fogettaboutit! And of course, the encounter with Amy, lunch with the four of you, and dozens of other encounters during our visit just proved how delightful New Yorkers can be, even when dealing with us clueless tourists.

Reply
Tobey Hiller
7/12/2018 10:44:47 pm

Well, jeez. I hang around here most of the time, and I never heard of Kulture Kiari Cephus (yes, poor thing), nor did I know gochuchang was the new sriracha. As for the online measuring suit, you could have gobsmacked me with a hornswoggle. You guys are clearly much better informed. Could it be the dive bars?

Reply
Karen McCann
7/13/2018 12:33:31 am

Between the dive bars and Google I pick up a lot of swell new lingo, Tobey, but I have to say your phrase "you could have gobsmacked me with a hornswoggle" is seriously splendiferous.

Reply
Susan Jackson
7/13/2018 12:11:46 am

Well, I go on a trip for a month only each year but other than that i live in the USA and have no idea about the items in your first paragraph either—butmthen Imlive in Florida not hip California

Reply
Karen McCann
7/13/2018 12:40:05 am

Thanks, Susan. I feel so much better knowing that there seems to be some wiggle room on the average citizen's obligation to keep up with such trends. Whew!

Reply
Jackie Smith link
7/13/2018 05:46:30 am

Love the observations and love the comments as well - I, too, love that quote. While we did downsize and sell off our US place last year it won't be long before we move from a ridiculously expensive storage unit there to somewhere where we can also stay in touch with America (and our financial institutions, doctors and dentists). Great post!

Reply
Karen McCann
7/13/2018 03:50:55 pm

So glad you liked the post, Jackie! Selling your US home is a big step — terrifying, liberating, and leaving you with amazing amounts of possessions to deal with. We too had a ridiculously expensive storage unit at one time, and eventually a huge portion of its contents were given away or sold at a series of garage sales, with relatively little remaining in our home. I am finally learning to let go of stuff! A very zen time of life.

Reply
wendy
7/21/2018 03:16:51 pm

Currently in the processes of selling our NY home and downsizing, we are trying to reduce our possessions, but it is challenging. Any tips on how to get into this zen mindset sooner?

Steve McC link
7/13/2018 12:27:13 pm

Love the photos and stories! Have a great stay in the EEUU. Look forward to hearing more. Rich looked very happy with the burrito. :-)

Reply
Karen McCann
7/13/2018 03:57:56 pm

As you know, Steve, it's always an adventure returning to the Estados Unidos, and Rich and I are blessed to have burritos to sustain us through the bumps and skids of the re-entry. Glad you liked the post!

Reply



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    PictureKaren McCann
    Welcome! 
    I'm an American travel writer based in Spain and currently living in California.

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