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Places I'll Love Forever

1/28/2015

15 Comments

 
“Cleveland isn’t all smokestacks and slag heaps,” said the guidebook, in a desperate attempt to find something positive to report. This was 28 years ago, on the eve of our marriage, when a recruiting firm was trying to convince Rich to leave San Francisco for a job in Cleveland, a gritty industrial city defined by such terms as “Rust Belt” and “snowbelt.” and the unfortunate day when the city’s polluted main river caught on fire. (To make sure nobody ever forgot that incident, Randy Newman immortalized it in the song Burn On, which you may remember from the movie Major League.)

PictureOur house in Cleveland. Not a smokestack or slag heap in sight.

Rich loved the job, so we went to live in Cleveland at a time the city's very name was considered a punch line. And as it turned out, the guidebook was right; Cleveland wasn’t all smokestacks and slag heaps. We had a wonderful twenty years there in an old stone house surrounded by great friends and old woods, with a thriving Amish community on one side, and on the other a city offering fantastic social, cultural, and professional possibilities. I learned a lot about how easy it is to stereotype a place when you don’t really know it.


When Rich took early retirement and we began spending time in Seville, our friends knew long before we did that we’d be moving. As one put it, “Cleveland versus Seville? Was there ever any doubt?” Yes, there was doubt; it’s never easy to leave a place where you have been happy. But new adventures called us, and in 2004 we made the move to Seville. 

Rich and I are now expatriates, from the Latin terms ex (out of) and patria (homeland), meaning someone who lives outside their native country. What it doesn’t mean is former patriots. (That would be expatriot, by the way.) We love our country. We spend four months a year in the US, visiting family and friends, and enjoying such luxuries as central heating, diverse ethnic foods, and speaking English. We pay our taxes without too much complaint. Sure, nobody likes writing checks to the government, but as I see it, taxes are one way that we, as citizens, collectively invest in our country’s future. And Rich and I always, always vote. Visiting Eastern bloc countries, where people were long denied that freedom (along with so many others) under totalitarian regimes, I heard a lot of stories about people fighting and dying for the right to voice their political beliefs. Makes it kind of hard to claim that mailing a ballot home from abroad is too much trouble.

And here’s good news for American expats: the federal government has just made it easier to cast your vote from abroad. The new Federal Post Card Application lets you register online and request your absentee ballot. But hurry! You’ll need to fill it out and send it back to them by January 31 in order to get your absentee ballots for the next election. Do it today!

Picture
American suffragettes

One reason I care so much about voting is that I grew up hearing my grandmother talk about the time before “women’s suffrage” and the day in 1920 when she cast her first ballot. It’s not a very edifying story, actually. My grandparents, who rarely agreed on anything, naturally supported opposing candidates. My grandfather craftily offered a bribe – a mink coat – if my grandmother would vote his way. Ever practical, she felt mink had far more lasting value and agreed. But in the unfamiliar confines of the voting booth, she got so flustered that she marked the ballot for her candidate instead. However, she kept her head afterward and claimed she’d voted as my grandfather had asked. Delighted with his victory, he bought her a magnificent mink coat, which she wore for the next sixty years.


 We all vote for different reasons, some more noble than others. Elections are just one way in which we, unlike so many people throughout history, get to exercise freedom of choice. As expats, we have opted to build new lives in new places. But just as leaving home for college didn’t mean we stopped loving our parents, living abroad doesn’t make us less loyal or patriotic. We love the places we hail from – smokestacks, slag heaps, and all. 
​


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15 Comments
John Marino
1/29/2015 08:45:35 am

Karen, your post warmed my heart today. Cleveland would love to have you and Rich come home again=) Maybe one day.

Reply
Karen McCann
1/30/2015 07:59:23 am

John, I was writing this post awaiting house guests from our old Cleveland neighborhood and was feeling nostalgic for our happy times there. Maybe one day!

Reply
Polly Burns
1/29/2015 09:04:34 am

Your house in Cleveland is beautiful; it sounds idyllic. I've never visited Cleveland but I've been to San Fran and loved it there. Funny how we feel at home in some places and not in others.

Reply
Karen McCann
1/30/2015 08:09:11 am

You're right, Polly, San Francisco is a wonderful city. But (and I don't mean to shock my SF friends) there are tons of other terrific places to live in this country and on this planet. A lot of it is arriving with a positive attitude, mentally unpacking your bags, and having an open heart.

Reply
Honey Ward
1/29/2015 09:46:50 am

Was that your mom's mother, whom we called Nini, in the mink coat voting caper? If so, she was pretty sharp; her "flustered" vote might not have been an accident at all.

"Back in the day" when women didn't have as much up front power, or control over money, they often had to use their wiles to get what they wanted. My grandmother did this. One time she wanted two new chairs for the kitchen table. Knowing my grandfather would reflexively say no, she had one delivered, for him. When he sat in it, he loved it, and said she should order another for herself. She called the store later that morning and arranged for the already purchased second chair to be delivered. Everybody won, at least in the game they played.

Reply
Karen McCann
1/30/2015 08:13:24 am

Yes, Honey, that was Nini! And it sounds like your grandmother was equally crafty. I can't imagine what it must have been like for them, having made vows to "obey" their husbands. Not a good situation for anybody's soul. As Nini used to say, "If men weren't such stinkers, they wouldn't make liars of their wives!"

Reply
Sally Balch
1/29/2015 10:37:06 am

My third favorite baseball movie. Now I want to pull it out again before spring training. GO TRIBE..

Reply
Karen McCann
1/30/2015 08:19:23 am

I loved that movie, Sally. I loved following the Tribe in good years and in bad, and being part of that fierce Cleveland loyalty to its teams. GO TRIBE indeed!

Reply
Alicia Bay Laurel link
1/29/2015 11:40:26 pm

Loved reading your blog while listening to Randy Newman sing his classic.

I am with you on the sanctity of voting. Some of the suffragettes were imprisoned and tortured for protesting so that we women could cast our vote. And our most recently elected embarassment of a US Congress is the result of 63% of elegible voters neglecting to show up.

Fingers crossed for Podemos!

Reply
Karen McCann
1/30/2015 08:29:49 am

I must have listened to that Randy Newman song half a dozen times while writing this post; always a pleasure to revisit an old friend like that. As to the voting, I wrote this post in large part to put in my two cents worth on that topic. Our foremothers fought so hard to achieve the right to vote. And now it's all too easy to take it for granted.

Reply
Ryan Taxis link
1/30/2015 01:57:36 am

Is this where I need to post the infamous, satirical Cleveland Tourism video? =P

Reply
Karen McCann
1/30/2015 08:39:53 am

I don't think you need to, Ryan. Everybody already has those negative images and snarky remarks about Cleveland in their heads! When we moved from SF to CLE, our friends started referring to us in the past tense and wondering what terrible things we'd done in a past life to deserve that fate. They seemed stunned when we insisted we were actually having a great time in the Buckeye State. "You're so brave," they'd say, shaking their heads in disbelief.

Reply
Ryan Taxis link
1/30/2015 11:07:46 am

Yeah, unfortunately, I can't say anything nice about any of the times I've been to Ohio. Maybe the one time I visited Wittenberg when I was a teen, but that's about it. :(

Sarah link
2/2/2015 08:43:19 am

Karen, thanks for this post. I especially like your response to Polly in the comments: "A lot of it is arriving with a positive attitude, mentally unpacking your bags, and having an open heart." Love this! So true. And we don't have to give up our love for any other place we've been or lived.

Reply
Karen McCann
2/5/2015 08:20:25 am

Yes, it's so great to know that it's not an either-or situation; we can love many places, in different ways and for various reasons. These days, when so many of us are moving around the planet due jobs, wanderlust, or other causes, it helps to cherish memories of all the towns we've enjoyed calling home.

Reply



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