
“New? That sign’s been there for years. Nobody pays any attention to it.”
Whenever I return to California after a long sojourn in Spain, I am gobsmacked by the astonishing number of warnings in our everyday environment. In other, less litigious societies, you’re expected to know that coffee is hot, pavement is slippery when wet, and hair dryers and showers don’t mix. But in America, just about everything carries a warning. Here are a few of my favorite examples:
- "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.
- "For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.
- "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.
- "Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.
- "Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.
- "Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion.
- "Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.
- "May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.
- "For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod.
- "Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.
- "Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.
- "Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.


Need more to worry about? Here's a list of cautions and warnings about dangers you probably never suspected were lurking right in your own home.